Heart Song: Day 7

Tori Amos's Little Earthquakes was probably the first CD my friend Li ever let me borrow. I was this very confused little teenager attempting to find some understanding in my world.  Being a teenager can be a frightening thing and especially if you have just decided to become sexual active.  Leather made me feel like I had gotten my power back. At that age, I thought what she was saying is that, well its okay that you don't love me. The leather represented strength that allowed me to walk with my head held high.

Today at 33 I think there is something to having control over your own body and who you let into your temple.  I think we all are such in a rush to love someone body that we give them a peek at it to soon thinking that they will stick around and worship in it. I can say that I have been one of those women from time to time. Giving it all away on the front end and watching it fizzle out just as fast as it started.

A really good friend of mine is walking down her own path to a better and awesome life and she chose to forgo any types of sexual or dating relationships while she is doing this. I applaud her for what I do not feel i can not do but I feel I need to try. Truely it is my path to salvation and to healing. I wanna lock it up and throw away the key for now, or maybe put it in a wall safe. I am taking back my leather. I am alone here and that is okay. I am gonna come out better on the other side.