Heart Songs Day 22

So many times I define my pride
Through somebody else's eyes (La da da, la da)
Then I looked inside and found my own stride,
I found the lasting love for me
If I'm searching for my spirituality
Passionately I must begin with me

There's just me...
One is the magic number 

I couldn't think of any other way to say what I needed to say tonight. Right now it's just me. I have to love me and loving me starts with getting my ass into shape. God this is the hardest fucking think I have ever done. Today was one of those days where I am like I wanna just quit. This is to hard being all self-conscious all the time about what I am putting into my mouth. But is it any harder than being a fat slob. No cause being fat means carrying the weight around, hurting when I walk, not being able to breathe. And that right now is worse. 

So I channel Jill and remember that I need to love myself more than just wanting to be a "fat girl"