Breakout....

Silly little video from the 80's. You would think that I was a teenager during the 80's for all the music I love from that decade. But I was just a kid who had a radio that the dial was stuck on a radio station that played 70's and 80's pop music all day.  So we have Breakout by Swing out sister. One of my favorite empowerment songs.

I kinda feel like I just broke out. I found my voice again and I screamed NO MORE. I can't wait for my exterior and my interior to match. I have a song for that too :)

I wanted to share something that I wrote and sent in a email and then the edited response (the only reason why I am editing it, is because I can't put something that is grammatically incorrect on my blog for fear of my friend James to say something to me about it.

There is a disclaimer with this: I was drunk when I wrote the email. Momentary lapse in judgement, but the shit needed to be said. So here is my email (please excuse the language, it was the liquor):

Thanks for deleting me from facebook, you saved me the time of having to do it. But I am just wondering why you didn't respond to my text messages. you could have TRIED to change my mind. I can't believe how fucking easy it is for you to just let go. oh wait yeah I can, you never FUCKING loved me in the first fucking place. I was just your cash cow, cock whore.

thanks for ruining my life.

 

Davette K. Baker

Lover of cats and grilled cheese.

His response Edited:

It's not easy.  I always change your mind and we end up fighting again.  You talking about you gaining weight back and shit.  What am i suppose to do. I love you I truly do but you really want to lose wight and I don't want to stand in the way of that. I have hurt you enough already so I let go so you can find the happiness you deserve 

 love u peace.

So that's where I stand. And I am keeping running the other direction. I have broken free. I think I needed that. The validation that he gets it. In the past he makes it my fault. I was the one who left and I was the one that broke us. And I didn't. I didn't do anything but love someone who I probably should have not. And I am going to keep breaking out of that every day. Anytime I feel something pushing on me and pulling me back I am goin to roar and bust through. And think of this silly little song. Man did they really have fun in the 80's.