Heart Song: Day 18

Let's talk about the future for a minute. In my near future is some sort of weight loss. Whether we are talking about my weigh in on Wednesday, or the 15 more lbs I am going to lose by July 31, or the total amount of 204 I have left to lose. I am going to keep on losing and pushing and losing until I have shed my "two very skinny 102 lb white girls" off of me. So in honor of that weight loss, I give you Olivia Newton John's "Physical." 

More often than not the physical is what people see first. Even tho everyone one says its personality, its what they see. You can't help it. People decided whether or not if they want to be your friend by how you physically look. Men can decide how they will treat you by the way you physically look.  I truely never understood that until I started loosing the weight. I see how men look at me differently now. They flirt a little longer. They try a little harder.

Don't get me wrong. I don't believe that men are gonna start instantly just liking me cause I get all hot and stuff, cause I am beautiful inside and out already, but what I am saying that I am digging some of this attention that my weight loss has brought me. It seems to make me more confident and I smile more, or at least that is what I have been told. But its made me recognize that the reason why I look better to the world is because I am taking CARE of myself better. And its not so much about the weight loss, but about the self-esteem gained. 

So the world better watch out. Who knows what will happen when I get to that next goal, or the goal after that. :)

SN: The mid-wrecker has NEVER acknowledge my weight loss. I constantly have people telling me how great I look and asking me how I did it. My trainer even said "you are an inspiration now." But the one person in the world who I want to notice acts like it doesn't matter. And THAT is something that I have to let go. He wants me to be unhappy, he wants me to stay the same because if I change then I will see him in a different light, and he doesn't want that. He wants to tear me down. I can no long participate in that, I am ready to save my life.

So when I want to give up or quit I just think of Ms Olivia Newton John. And plow right through that workout. :)