Heart Songs: Day 29

Not sure if a lot of people know this song by Britney. Every Time is on In The Zone and I remember when she sang it on SNL. I thought it was so pretty and poignant. Simply stated I let you down, but didn't you let me down too. I can say I am sorry.  

I have spent so many years saying sorry for things that I should not have to apologize for.  I was just thinking today that I have always took on too much all at once and then fall short of the expectations I set for myself. Even in my relationships. I try to carry the whole load and then wonder why I get burnt out so quickly. I keep thinking and trying to stay once step a head that I don't ever get to enjoy everything. 


I don't know what is wrong with me. I guess to, like Britney, I want to be noticed and valued and loved. Not for what I can do, or how smart I am, but just for me. This crazy, sexy, cool chick who has an affinity for really bad pop music, who loves her parents and family, and who loves books, and movies and taking naps.  I want to find someone who loves that I know how to write, but also play video games. I just wanna be ME. 

As I work on changing myself inside and out I am reminded how extraordinary it is to look at yourself and say SELF, let's make some changes. I will continue to make leaps and bounds and never forget where I started. Only looking back ever so slightly to remember where I came from, but keeping my good eye always to the future. 


Some times I amaze myself, I got all that there from Everytime. Go figure. 


SN: As a true relation to the song. I played this once for my ex cause I did something stupid and really needed to actually apologize for once and it made him cry. (good thing he doesn't read my blog). It is a sad song. Especially when you actually experience it.