Heartless.....

How could you be so heartless? Well. Easy. I think as women we take and take it all in and then when we are full to the top we explode.  And whoever is in front of us at that time gets the shrapnel so to speak. I have had a few men in the past year tell me that I am really mean and heartless, which if you know me at all it isn’t true. I give EVERYONE in my life a million chances. My mother raised me to see the potential in a person, to grow and foster friendships and relationships because they are ever changing. And I have carried that with me throughout my life.  That bad part of living your life like that is that you will get sucked in to peoples bullshit and sit around and take stuff that you should probably just walk away from. Some people call that being a push over, but I don’t think it is that at all.

Humans have a need to feel supported and loved. And when you come across individuals who don’t understand that it’s a give and take process, what ends up happening is that one person gives so much that they get emotionally and often physically drained that it can cause all kind of problems. And it does actually in my experience cause you to learn how to adapt and be allergic to bullshit. I think then what happens is that the person gets jaded and angry. I know in my current situation that I have a hard time believing anything a man wishes to put out of his lips.  I am constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop. And as of late there is always some shit on the bottom of that shoe when it does.

Brother Kanye had his heartbroken by a what I call “gold digging bitch” but there is some truth in what he is saying. We can be heartless, but it isn’t without a reason. I wish I could get men to understand that I don’t hate all men, I honestly just hate you until you give me reason not to. I do have a heart or I would not be standing in front of you, but it is protected.  I need you to show me better than before. I won’t take out my past on you, but I am very guarded and I am trying to find truth and love on the bottom of the shoe, not shit.