Heart Songs: New Beginnings-Day 1

Jacob called me today and said "babe I need you to do that thing you do where you say stuff and it calms me down." Then he proceeded to tell me why he needed to calm down. So I told him I loved him and that all the stuff he told me really wasn't that bad. And all I could think of was this song while I was talking to him. There are so MANY things in this world that cause us to panic. We as a society don't take the time to slow down and look at what we do have. Sure the current economic climate has everyone bummed, but I just mean do we look at the quality of our lives. I have been able to love with no boundaries. To meet people and to learn from them. To celebrate our existence.

I think what I was forgetting in my relationship with Jacob was that we all bring our past to the table. Some of us are still dealing with the past. And you shouldn't give up the things that are important to you, but you also have to remember that it is gonna take work to get where you want to go with that person. I never stopped and listened. I was TOO busy trying to make him into something he wasn't ready to be. I think a lot of the things that went wrong were my fault more than his, making a mountain out of a mole hill so to speak. It wasn't until I stepped away from the mess I created and saw what was really going on. Sure we should all be treated with respect, but what happens when WE as woman don't listen to what our br, partner, lover or whomever we let into our life is saying.

Jacob and I are in a place right now where we realize that we do "need" each other, but we don't know exactly what that means. And I think a few years ago I would have been in a panic about that. But its interesting when your ducks are starting to fall into place, how interesting the unknown and uncharted territory can be. I think what helps, and I can only speak for myself, is that I am in a better place emotionally and physically and just spiritually. I have let the past go and can only look at what is in front of me. I don't have time or the energy that it took to eat, sleep and breathe the past. I am "getting to my happy."