And NOW I'm Stuck....

So there isn't a "official video for this song. I wish there was cause he is SOOO hot and they have such creative and very 80's type videos that have storyline and the such, but maybe you can just imagine him doing something creative and cool while you read this and listen along.

SN: How many of your listen to the song while you are reading. I try to write the blog while I am listening to the song, I think that is how the lyrics sometimes end up in the actual post. Then other times its hard cause I get so lost in the song I forget to type....

So, I woke up this morning and despite still dealing with this stupid cold, virus, running nose thing, I feel stuck. I keep replaying my relationship over in my head, trying to figure out what the fuck happened. I some times feel like I am just really ill-equipt to even be someone's girlfriend. What does it even really mean. I don't know how to day. Hell, I barely can talk to men most of the time. I watch my friends flirt with guys and carry on these relationships with ease and that thought of actually meeting someone and having to let them get to know me actually scares that crap out of me.  So I dont really think I am ready for that step especially since my heart is still belting out this song.

So Adam makes several points in his beautiful ballad. I am stuck. Everytime I think I get unstuck, something reminds me or makes me think about what was was. I am trying daily to not fall apart. But it really pisses me off that he is just fine with all of this. To quote his very last text to me, You have been leaving me for a year, so I am pretty much use to it now. WHAT? WTF does that mean. I mean I could go on a rant about how that fool left me and moved to North Dakota and didn't even tell me, but we won't go there.

It just sucks cause I would like to think in a perfect world that he is somewhere on the eastern seaboard wondering the streets of where ever he lives just as upset as I am and trying NOT to fall apart, but I know better. And that is just the kicker for me, because this is the exact reason WHY we shouldn't be together in the first place. I want someone who CAN'T live with out me and he isn't that. I feel stupid because my heart strings still want him to do that, but I guess recognizing the problem is the first step right?

A procedure like that one Jim Carey in Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind would be AWESOME right now.

XOXO